To reassure my parents.

Oh my.

Truth be told I had an irritable rage-post set about plagiarism and how I recently discovered the painful effects it can have on your peace of mind when you become the victim.

BUT.

I got bored.

So here's something a little different. I was going though some files on my computer, and I found a document with snippets of conversations D and I had while I was in college my first year. It's got some pretty great stuff in there. Kinda makes me wish I hadn't wiped all my computer files that saved my various messenger chats.

Anyone who has previously written me blackmail worthy material, it looks like you're off the hook. For now.

Anyways, I still found this gem. I had just gotten off the phone with my mom after yet another desperate plea for me to give her grandchildren someday soon. She's not getting any younger, I suppose. I believe I offered to be a short-term hooker to keep her happy, but she wasn't as interested in that option as I thought she might be.

A little while later D and I had our scripture study and watched a video about Captain Moroni cornering the army of Zerahemnah and trying to offer them a way out but ended up scalping the dude and yadda yadda. We all know the story. If you don't, you should check out the Book of Mormon, it's pretty schweet. Anyways, the video also starred this wicked baller hero-Grandpa with a ton of medals and an adoring grandson. D made this observation:

D: That could be your dad, someday.

Me: Pfft. As a hero? That's my dad now.

D: Well, yeah, but he's not a grandpa, yet...friggin' Paul.

Me: And Aaron. You know, they're looking at me now, and I'm only eighteen!

D: -pause of shocked silence- You're too young for babies!

Me: I know I'm too young for babies!

D: I don't plan on impregnating you for at least five years!

Me: -pause of shocked silence- I'm glad that is a definite goal of yours.

Apparent goals for D when he gets back from his mission:

1. Impregnate Jessica.

2. Marry her in a panic, because that was mentioned absolutely nowhere in the conversation.

3. ?????????

4. Profit!