Saturday, April 14, 2012

Usually brave, yes. Socially awkward...yes.


Irrational fears.
Sometimes we get over them.
Sometimes they get the best of us.
Sometimes they're just freaking awkward.

Most of mine fall into the third category. 

Here's a list of commonplace fears that affect me 0% of the time:

  • Airplanes.
  • Spiders.
  • Roller coasters.
  • Snakes.

Here's a list of commonplace fears that effect me 50% of the time:

  • Heights. (doesn't really coincide with my non-fears, but is true.)
  • Tight spaces (only when facing my imminent demise).
  • Public speaking.

Normal fears for normal people. Nothing particularly unexpected.

Although, the way I can zoom through the air on planes or roller coasters without screaming a single time might seem a little strange due to my fear of heights. In fact, I could even venture to say that I find them relaxing. However, get me on something like a ferris wheel, and a state of absolute, uncontrollable hysteria emerges. I hate ferris wheels.

Here's a list of socially awkward fears that effect me 100% of the time:

  • When clearing my throat immediately after someone else on the opposite side of a room, I immediately get concerned it could be misinterpreted as a mating call.
  • Basketballs. Nothing about them in particular, though the feeling of flight intensifies when one is in the air. 
  • Whenever I have a cut or scratch and a fly lands on it, I immediately envision being infested with maggots, and I die a little inside.
  • If a piece of bread goes flat and sticks to the roof of my mouth, I panic because if I don't retrieve it immediately, it will stay there forever. This leads to embarrassing situations because I can't wait until I'm out of the public eye to do so.

I should work on that.

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