God equals flux capacitor?

I’ll get to that later. Hopefully no one is offended.

So, in Philosophy we were talking about a man named Zenos who had this friend who said nothing about the senses actually exists. Don’t remember that guys name. Anyways, this is how the lesson proceeded.

Professor: “Now a lot of people disagreed with his friend’s statements, and so Zenos was like, “Yo, don’t be dissin’ my friend here because then I’ll haveta mess you up with a paradox.*”

[*Note: Apparently that was the current lingo of their time.]

Zenos paradox was that if you used reason you would logically come to the conclusion that motion does not really exist. Say you took a tortoise and Achilles and put them to a foot race. Tortoise - really slow. Achilles - fastest man alive. Now, Zenos says if you give the tortoise a slight head start logically Achilles would never be able to catch up to the tortoise because every time he would catch up to where the tortoise was, the tortoise would have moved a bit further. This would go on and on for eternity. Apparently this man is one of those awkward gentlemen that can never bring themselves to pass anyone on the street.

Like a football field, if you want to make a goal you start at the halfway mark. Then you go halfway from there, then halfway form there, and so on and so forth. No matter how far you go, you’ll always have to go halfway, and since there’s no end to dividing fractions, you will never reach the goal because you will always have ‘halfway’ to go.

Professor: “Now, Zenos said that if you go with reason, it is simple enough to come up with these conclusions, however, what you see contradicts this idea. Therefore, once of them must not exist. He said, “I BELIEVE IN REASON.”

Me: “Wait. Did this man even leave his house?”

Professor: “-laughing- He probably left his house, sometimes.”

Me: “…Or did he just sit there in one chair and never move because no matter how hard he might try, by his flawless reasoning, he could never reach his destination?”

Zenos’ reasoning pulls many other things into question regarding his lifestyle. For example, did he ever try to reach a bathroom or did he feel the need to wear diapers? How did he die? Did he starve to death by not believing he could reach the dining room table?

My goodness.

Anyways, we also discussed the development of a mono-theological view on God and also the development of the Trinity theory. Apparently, part of it might have been a big misunderstanding of a Socratic word that is often translated to ‘substance.’ This makes people think materialistically. The three are one substance. Actually, the word when used Socratically is much closer in meaning to the word ‘essence.’ The essence of their beings is the same, but they are separate. Bazinga.

Also, he showed the diagram of the Trinity principle. Here it is:

Amanda pointed out that it looked like the Flux Capacitor. I must say, the resemblance is uncanny.




There was a bit of snickering going on in the front row.

Anyways, that is my story for the day. Also, we ran out of balloons for our paper mache, so I need to come up with a new way to get the desired shape for my fish thing.

Friggin’ art is forcing me to be creative.

I also fell down the stairs today. It was storming. I actually woke up in a panic due to a loud thunderclap outside my dorm. Anyways, they need to replace the slip-proof mats on the staircase outside so inept kids like me don’t die on their way to Biology. My arm is dead; probably gonna be a nasty bruise.

Awkward bombs and metal detectors.

So, I’ve become terminally addicted to this game called Castaway. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s essentially an RPG where you play the role of, well, a castaway. On an island. Also, there’s monsters. It’s a bit similar to the old Final Fantasy games for Playstation if you’ve ever played those, and, of course by ‘a bit similar’ we all know I mean in no way is it comparable. Just passes the time.

Also, the game Lab of the Dead. If you’re a fan of zombies, I highly recommend checking it out. If you are not a fan of zombies, check it out anyways because it is awesome. Play the Kongragate version, though. It’s updated with a skip button. If you play any other version you’ll die of impatience.

I don’t know who I’m talking to. Myself, I suppose. Oh, well.

Honestly, I’m just on here because I have a humorous tale that needs to be told. Or, written in a private blog that virtually no one knows about. Either one works.

So, I was on my way to my Stagecraft 101 class earlier today when I had an interesting experience with a fellow student. I had just walked into the downstairs hallway below the theatre when I saw my teacher George shoving (For intents and purposes, we shall dub him ‘Student A’) in a playful manner. I had obviously missed the conversation that preceeded such a motion.

Actually, let’s get some background information in this joint. Student A is an acquaintance of mine who seems to be a little too, hm…pushy (This is much too strong of a word, but I will use it for now until I come up with something more adequate for the situations he puts me in.) in his constant advances towards me.*

(*Note: I do not believe that he means anything more than an offer of friendship, but at times the things he says or does are a little bit inappropriate when he has already been made fully aware of my happy, long-distance relationship with D.)

For example, once he offered that I go to eat lunch with him somewhere after hearing my stomach rumble rather loudly during a church meeting. Circumstances being as they are, I politely declined and explained my reasons for doing so. Immediately following, he got a little frustrated at what he considered a rejection and told me that D should trust me more, which I then had to further explain that it not an issue of trust as much as I personally felt it would be innapropriate. This went of for quite some time before he threw out the idea of me dating other men while D was on his mission because, “[I] might find someone better.” This statement was not appreciated.

But, we are friends, and thus sums up part of my relationship with Student A.

Back to the horseplay.

So, George shoves Student A as I came through the doors and suddenly, Student A points at me and says:

Student A: “See! I attract somebody!”

As you can imagine, I was a bit confused. Now, I did not feel that this was in any sort of way awkward, I just assumed I had missed a good section of their conversation and was entirely lost. I looked up to George who then misinterpreted my look of inquisition for one of discomfort. He chuckled once, looking uneasy, and stated:

George: Well…I think now would be an excellent time to start the class since the awkward bomb has just been dropped.”

He then ran up the stairs and into the theatre.

This made me laugh. Sadly, he missed the true awkward bomb that was dropped shortly after his leaving.

I pulled out my phone to share the story with my brothers (This is something I often do when one of my teachers or professors has said something humorous which is about usually five or six times a week. I have awesome classes.) and began to type in George’s quote and what had just occurred. Unbeknownst to me, Student A had taken my lack of attention as an opportunity to sidle up next to me and wrap one of his arms around my shoulders and pull me tightly into himself. I remember thinking, “Well, this is not okay…” He then proceeded to pull me up exactly three steps on the flight of stairs leading to the theatre.

Student A: “C’mon, Jessica. It’s time for class. You don’t want to be late, now do you?”

Me: “Uh…”

I had a moment of panic. I desperately didn’t wish to be rude, and I figured a “get your hands off me,“ statement might send too sharp of a message. Glancing behind me, I noticed a girl from our class named Megan who was still sitting on the bench reading and obviously not noticing that everyone had left her behind. I had a sudden flash of brilliance.

Me: “Wait…Wait!”

Student A: “-pausing- What?”

Me: “What about Megan?:

Student A: “What about her?”

Me: “We can’t leave Megan.”

Student A: “Sure we can, she’s fine. –tightens grip- Let’s go.”

Me: “-deftly maneuvers out of his hold and turns to wave- Hey! Hey! Megan!”

Student A: “She’s fine. -moves to grab me again-“

Me: “-waving with more desperation- MEGAN!”

Megan: “-finally looks up- What?”

Me: “-suddenly relieved- It’s time for class.”

Megan: “Already?”

Me: “Yep! Let’s go! –dashes up the stairs ahead of them both-“

Oh, dear. That was an interesting moment in my life. So, now that that story is told, on to the metal detector.

George had already started the class. The goal of the day was to completely dismantle the set we had built for our university’s rendition of Shakespeare’s comedy “As You Like It.” Totally hilarious. I’m actually supposed to be writing a paper on it right now, but I’m procrastinating again. Back to the story: he was handing out jobs; some were to take down the set, some were to put away props, some were to sort wood, etc. Then it got down to only me. I told him I would work whatever postion he gave me to which he responded by pointing at me and saying, “You’re on screw patrol.” I told him I had absolutely no inkling about what he meant but that I would happily do it. He then gave me an awkward/creepy smile (He does this often, haha.) and curled his finger in a motion intended to get me to follow him. He then led me backstage and handed me a long metal pole with a black rectangular box on the end. It sorta looked like a broom without bristles.

George: “This is a magnetic stick. It’s used to pick up screws. Your job is to wander around and collect the screws as they fall while we take apart the set.”

Can you say best job ever? Oh, yes.

The next hour of my life consisted of circling the deconstruction crews like a hungry shark and picking up all the screws, nuts, and bolts I could find. Once I neglected my job for a few minutes due to a distraction caused by George sawing through a metal bolt with a jigsaw. For some reason it created a ramen noodle-like smell in the air. Apparently a small pile of screws had accumulated near this kid named Q because all of a sudden he said, “Where’s my little maggie? There she is!” So I ran over and used the magnet to pick everything up. It was a lot of fun. Sometimes he would call me over and then take my screws away so he could stick them awkwardly onto the end himself, it was pretty funny. I got a bunch of awesome names from Q like ‘Ms. Magneto’ and stuff like that. I like that kid.

So, that was my stagecraft experience for the day.

After that I headed over to the dining hall where somehow I ended up giving my drivers license to the scanner man instead of my student ID. Needless to say it didn’t work with the swipe-y thingy. Eventually I found my student ID and was permitted to enter, where I found Amanda. She had ice cream, and I arranged two different kinds of yogurt in a bowl so it looked like those Trix double yogurt cups. Delicious.

Also, the best drink is made from ½ glass Tropicana Fruit Punch; 3/8thglass Gatorade Fruit Punch; 1/8th Gatorade Grape. True story.

Anyways, I feel like I’m done with this, and there’s no real climactic way to end this post so heres a picture of an eagle made out of hands.

Giant pens look like man-made unmentionables.

(Warning: Potentially offensive.)

Roommate: "Do you want to see what I got from the store?"

Me: "Heck yes, I do. Wait, I can’t see due to the sun glare…and now I can’t see due to a lack of glasses."

Roommate: "Wait! Don’t put your glasses on, yet. Guess."

D: "A bubble wand? Lightsaber?"

Roommate: "Nope. Jessica, you guess."

Me: "Um…a dildo?"

Roommate: "…No."

This was three minutes after I had woken up. My mind goes strange places when I’m half-asleep. Of course, this next bit was two minutes ago. Crap. Maybe I’m just like this all the time.

Roommate: "Do you know what I love about this pen?"

Me: "Um…you can use it for a dildo?"

Roommate: "…No."

Me: "That pen could steal your virginity. In fact, I’m going to steal your virginity with that pen."

Roommate: "…Jess. I’m sorry about the cookie, okay?"

Five minutes prior to the second section she tried to force feed me a cookie which ended up shattering all over my face, clothes and bed. It was sad. After this, she crumpled onto my mattress in an uncontrollable fit of laughter. My face feels like it’s bleeding.